[ He takes a deep breath, because he can't bring himself to say the words out loud, like the coroner might call and say it was all a mistake if he just delays this long enough. He tries to work up to it, and hopefully Eddie forgives him for prolonging telling him. Because he feels like he needs to explain, because he feels like he'd give anything right now for someone else to be the one telling Eddie this, at the same time that he wouldn't want Eddie to find out from anyone other than someone from the 118, and he's not foisting the responsibility onto Hen or Chim or Ravi. ]
We were on a call. And there was an explosion, and the team was exposed to a disease.
[ He pauses then, because he suddenly feels like he's gotten all the air punched out of his lungs. ]
And Chim was in a really bad state, and me and Athena were chasing down the scientist to get the antidote.
[ His voice just keeps getting higher and more panicked as he continues, and it's not helping to recount the story because he feels like he's reliving it, now. Rushing Athena to her car, the helicopter chase, calling Tommy and cashing in a huge favor on a credit line he didn't even have anymore, all that feels like a lifetime or a dream ago. ]
And um -
[ His breathing staggers now, and he swallows down a cry, but the noise still escapes. ]
- There was only one dosage.
[ The way he says that is almost questioningly, like he's trying to explain it to himself, why they couldn't save everybody. ]
So we gave it to Chim, and we... walked out.
[ He remembers how fucking victorious he felt, getting his team out of there, not bothering to notice why or how Bobby fell back to the end of the line. Buck had been the first one out, and he'd wanted to be the last one out, and he might've seen it happening if he hadn't been so fucking relieved. ]
And Bobby closed the door. He, um.
[ Spent his last words to Buck consoling him.
Told him his team needed him.
Asked him to get Athena.
Ordered him out becuse he wanted to spend his last moments with his wife.
Said, I love you, kid. ]
He didn't make it.
[ He's saying this through tears now, the words catching in his throat, the sound ugly and raw. ]
no subject
We were on a call. And there was an explosion, and the team was exposed to a disease.
[ He pauses then, because he suddenly feels like he's gotten all the air punched out of his lungs. ]
And Chim was in a really bad state, and me and Athena were chasing down the scientist to get the antidote.
[ His voice just keeps getting higher and more panicked as he continues, and it's not helping to recount the story because he feels like he's reliving it, now. Rushing Athena to her car, the helicopter chase, calling Tommy and cashing in a huge favor on a credit line he didn't even have anymore, all that feels like a lifetime or a dream ago. ]
And um -
[ His breathing staggers now, and he swallows down a cry, but the noise still escapes. ]
- There was only one dosage.
[ The way he says that is almost questioningly, like he's trying to explain it to himself, why they couldn't save everybody. ]
So we gave it to Chim, and we... walked out.
[ He remembers how fucking victorious he felt, getting his team out of there, not bothering to notice why or how Bobby fell back to the end of the line. Buck had been the first one out, and he'd wanted to be the last one out, and he might've seen it happening if he hadn't been so fucking relieved. ]
And Bobby closed the door. He, um.
[ Spent his last words to Buck consoling him.
Told him his team needed him.
Asked him to get Athena.
Ordered him out becuse he wanted to spend his last moments with his wife.
Said, I love you, kid. ]
He didn't make it.
[ He's saying this through tears now, the words catching in his throat, the sound ugly and raw. ]