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[bombero]

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[bombero]

( every word buck gets out feels like a weight bearing down on eddie's shoulders. he finds himself curling in more and more as the story comes out until he's almost completely bent over his knees. the phone shakes. he can't get his hands to stop trembling and no matter how much he screws his face up, he can't stop tears from spilling over.

bobby is dead.

his captain, his mentor, a man who has been there for him through some of the absolute worst moments of eddie's life, is dead. and eddie wasn't there. he should've been there. )

Is-- ( eddie sniffs, clears his throat, and tries again. ) Is Chim gonna be alright?

( are they in danger of losing someone else too? because if they are, eddie doesn't think he's going to be able to handle that well. he's already barely hanging on to his composure, metaphorical fingernails about to give. )

[3point0]

[ He can almost feel Eddie on the other side of the line, can almost see his face. It's rare that Eddie cries, and every time he does, it breaks Buck's heart and makes him feel so helpless. This time, he can't find any words of consolation that don't feel as hollow as the wound currently gnawing at his chest.

Thankfully, Eddie asks him a question so he doesn't have to scramble for the words he so needs to find. ]

He's-- yeah. They're gonna keep him for observation.

[ Another hard sniffle, and his voice is wobbly, threatening to break. ]

But he's in recovery.

[ And isn't that at least something? Bobby got to save him, got to sacrifice himself so that Chim's new baby might get a fighting chance to meet his father. ]

Maddie's with him now.

[ Of course Buck wouldn't have chosen for Chim to die over Bobby, but if he'd gotten his choice, he would've gone for either of them. And Eddie had once said that Buck wasn't as expendable as he'd thought of himself, but compared to the cost of losing Bobby, it's no contest.

The thought is an ugly one, but he'll have to forgive himself the transgression when the other looming thought is how empty and alone he feels. ]

I'll let you know when the funeral is, I--

[ -- He doesn't finish, shaky breath giving way to sobs, curling up on himself trying to become as small as possible so he doesn't have to look at the room he's in right now. They're four walls that if they could talk, would tell only stories of Eddie and Chris. It feels wrong right now that they're not here; for the first time in weeks he feels like he's intruding in his own home. ]