[That was the sound of her suddenly looking back on what she texted Eddie and realizing that her wording was kind of. Not as clear as it could have been.]
I am not pregnant. [That might've been addressed to both Eddie and Bobby.] I was complaining to Bobby that the doctor insisted on a pregnancy test before they would do my x-ray and wouldn't let me sign the waiver, and I tried to say it was a waste of time because I already knew the test would be negative except I accidentally wrote positive because my brain is garbage on narcotics and then I fell asleep and woke up to Bobby trying to break my door down.
Oh my fucking god. ( he says it all real fast on one exhale as he sits down heavily on a bench in the theater's atrium. ) I think you just gave me a heart attack. Jesus Christ.
( no, but seriously, he's kind of obviously doing some shaky box breathing. this was not how he was expecting his afternoon to go. )
I'm sorry. [She honestly is. She knows what Eddie sounds like when he's freaking out, and she genuinely feels horrible about setting off Bobby and him.] I promise that is not how I would ever tell you if that actually happened. I'm just - having serious brain fog right now, I guess.
Yeah. I think Bobby should be gone by the time you get here. [If that's a bit pointed and more of an instruction than anything else, well. Buck didn't exactly have a great wake-up call, either.] Once he gets over his minor heart attack.
[As predicted (and low-key forced to happen), Bobby's gone by the time Christopher and Eddie arrive. Buck's set up on the couch with a blanket, still feeling a little fuzzy from the meds but considerably more alert since she accidentally caused two (2) of the most important men in her life to have mini-panic attacks. At least she didn't give Christopher one as well and make it three-for-three.
She greets Chris with a smile and listens to his brief summary of their outing and the movie they saw before he heads to his room to play video games. Once he's out of the room, she scoots around on the couch to make room for Eddie.]
( the remnants of the mini panic attack have faded by the time they get home. eddie's just left with a little bit of an adrenaline crash and a lot to think about. he listens with a small smile as chris talks about their afternoon, but once he's in his room, eddie is moving to the couch with all speed. he wants to hold his girlfriend. )
Hey. ( he tucks himself up behind her so he can rest against the arm of the couch, legs running the length of it, and pull buck back to rest on his chest. ) So that was an adventure.
[She’s pretty happy to snuggle into him, feel his arms around her. The misunderstanding was pretty rough on both of them, even if it was objectively her fault. Speaking of which - ] I really am sorry.
Yeah, but you shouldn't have had to be not fine at all. It was such a stupid mix-up, and I just made it worse when I was trying to stop you from hearing whatever Bobby sent you without context.
[And now she's whining about herself instead of checking on how he feels. He's not supposed to be comforting her right now.] How are you?
I'm good. ( and he honestly is, now. ) I might mention this to Frank at some point, just because it caught me by surprise, but I'm good.
( and it's the kind of mistake he doesn't expect will happen ever again, so he's not even sure he needs to bring it up with frank. he probably will, just because he gets the feeling that buck will frown at him if he doesn't. but he doesn't see this as a big thing. )
You know it wasn't-- ( he pauses. huffs quietly and starts again. ) It didn't have anything to do with the idea of you being pregnant. You know that, right?
[She scrunches up her face a bit as she tilts her head to look up at him, because it's not like. Well.] Well, no one was freaking out about the idea of me not being pregnant. [So in other words, no. She's not sure what he's trying to tell her.]
( he lets his voice go soft and quiet. ) I want to have kids with you. When we're ready.
( they've talked about it briefly before in the same nebulous way they've talked about other aspects of their future together. she knows he's not just open to having more kids but hoping it happens at some point. )
It was the surprise combined with the Bobby of it all. ( that last part was something he hadn't figured out until he was in the car, driving home. having his girlfriend's father, someone he sees as a mentor and father figure sometimes, freak out about it brought him right back to age eighteen and having to tell his dad shannon was pregnant. ) I know he wouldn't be pissed if you were pregnant and that's not what his reaction was. But knowing that he stormed over here and you couldn't get rid of him or talk to me about what was going on...
[Something warm blooms in her chest at the affirmation that he does want kids still, with her. Of course she knew that in general, because they'd talked about the possibility to make sure they were on the same page about things. But that was just making sure they were on the same page, not anything too real or immediate. She knows that a pregnancy scare can sometimes make a general opinion on something feel like an all-too-real reality, and not everyone feels the same way they thought they would afterwards. It's nice to hear that he still feels the same way.
She groans a little at the reminder of the Bobby of it all.] Yeah. He probably wouldn't have reacted like that, either, except he knew I was on pain meds, and I stopped responding to him because I fell asleep, which made him think something was really wrong. It was just terrible timing all around.
[Tired, again, once all the excitement wore off, but she didn't want to fall asleep again before Eddie got back. Especially since the last time she took a nap was kin of terrifying interrupted.] The good news from the hospital is that my wrist looks good. Fracture's healing like it's supposed to.
That's good. ( he didn't really expect anything different because buck is generally good at not pushing herself too too far when recovering because that inevitably means more time recovering. but it's good to hear. ) Won't be long until you're back out in the field.
( and now that he says that, with the context of them having touched on the whole kids thing again, he can't help but wonder... )
If... we do have a kid. Are you gonna be okay taking time off work?
[She absently runs her thumb along the edge of the cast on her broken wrist.] I can't promise I wouldn't feel kinda antsy, but - what usually drives me crazy about being out of work is feeling like there's something I should be doing. I think mayb growing a whole new person in my body would be doing enough?
That's probably something you should talk to Dr. Copeland about. ( but, also-- ) If it's not, we can always find things for you to do. Things that don't involve risking your life.
( eddie knows what the drive to be useful feels like, and he knows that therapy will help but won't completely eliminate that feeling. not without years worth of work, anyway. so coping mechanisms it is. )
[She huffs out a breath.] Probably. [Why does everything have to be something you need to unpack in therapy? Can a woman not simply feel like she has to earn her right to existence by being useful? Can she not just be scared that her found family of choice won't have a place for her anymore if she's not right there working with them day after day?]
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[That was the sound of her suddenly looking back on what she texted Eddie and realizing that her wording was kind of. Not as clear as it could have been.]
I am not pregnant. [That might've been addressed to both Eddie and Bobby.] I was complaining to Bobby that the doctor insisted on a pregnancy test before they would do my x-ray and wouldn't let me sign the waiver, and I tried to say it was a waste of time because I already knew the test would be negative except I accidentally wrote positive because my brain is garbage on narcotics and then I fell asleep and woke up to Bobby trying to break my door down.
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( no, but seriously, he's kind of obviously doing some shaky box breathing. this was not how he was expecting his afternoon to go. )
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( deep breath in, out. in, out. )
Look, Chris and I are done here so we're going to head home in a minute. We'll talk when we get there?
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[Gentler:] You sure you're okay?
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( and he doesn't blame her at all. no harm, no foul. )
I'll see you in a little bit, alright?
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[As predicted (and low-key forced to happen), Bobby's gone by the time Christopher and Eddie arrive. Buck's set up on the couch with a blanket, still feeling a little fuzzy from the meds but considerably more alert since she accidentally caused two (2) of the most important men in her life to have mini-panic attacks. At least she didn't give Christopher one as well and make it three-for-three.
She greets Chris with a smile and listens to his brief summary of their outing and the movie they saw before he heads to his room to play video games. Once he's out of the room, she scoots around on the couch to make room for Eddie.]
Hey.
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Hey. ( he tucks himself up behind her so he can rest against the arm of the couch, legs running the length of it, and pull buck back to rest on his chest. ) So that was an adventure.
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( but he knows her and he knows that just saying that isn't reassurance enough. he kisses the top of her head before continuing. )
You didn't do it on purpose. And I was fine in less than five minutes.
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[And now she's whining about herself instead of checking on how he feels. He's not supposed to be comforting her right now.] How are you?
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( and it's the kind of mistake he doesn't expect will happen ever again, so he's not even sure he needs to bring it up with frank. he probably will, just because he gets the feeling that buck will frown at him if he doesn't. but he doesn't see this as a big thing. )
You know it wasn't-- ( he pauses. huffs quietly and starts again. ) It didn't have anything to do with the idea of you being pregnant. You know that, right?
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( they've talked about it briefly before in the same nebulous way they've talked about other aspects of their future together. she knows he's not just open to having more kids but hoping it happens at some point. )
It was the surprise combined with the Bobby of it all. ( that last part was something he hadn't figured out until he was in the car, driving home. having his girlfriend's father, someone he sees as a mentor and father figure sometimes, freak out about it brought him right back to age eighteen and having to tell his dad shannon was pregnant. ) I know he wouldn't be pissed if you were pregnant and that's not what his reaction was. But knowing that he stormed over here and you couldn't get rid of him or talk to me about what was going on...
( it triggered some things. )
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[Something warm blooms in her chest at the affirmation that he does want kids still, with her. Of course she knew that in general, because they'd talked about the possibility to make sure they were on the same page about things. But that was just making sure they were on the same page, not anything too real or immediate. She knows that a pregnancy scare can sometimes make a general opinion on something feel like an all-too-real reality, and not everyone feels the same way they thought they would afterwards. It's nice to hear that he still feels the same way.
She groans a little at the reminder of the Bobby of it all.] Yeah. He probably wouldn't have reacted like that, either, except he knew I was on pain meds, and I stopped responding to him because I fell asleep, which made him think something was really wrong. It was just terrible timing all around.
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eddie rubs at her shoulder and gives it a small squeeze. ) Outside of all the chaos, how are you feeling?
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[Tired, again, once all the excitement wore off, but she didn't want to fall asleep again before Eddie got back. Especially since the last time she took a nap was kin of terrifying interrupted.] The good news from the hospital is that my wrist looks good. Fracture's healing like it's supposed to.
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( and now that he says that, with the context of them having touched on the whole kids thing again, he can't help but wonder... )
If... we do have a kid. Are you gonna be okay taking time off work?
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[She absently runs her thumb along the edge of the cast on her broken wrist.] I can't promise I wouldn't feel kinda antsy, but - what usually drives me crazy about being out of work is feeling like there's something I should be doing. I think mayb growing a whole new person in my body would be doing enough?
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( eddie knows what the drive to be useful feels like, and he knows that therapy will help but won't completely eliminate that feeling. not without years worth of work, anyway. so coping mechanisms it is. )
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Things like what?
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[It’s actually not a bad idea, so long as no one’s concerned Buck will pass on her tendency to ignore orders when they go against her instincts.]
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